A Healthy Change of Perspective

I took the dog outside like I do every night before bed.  And like every other night during this mundane chore, I wasn’t expecting to have a life-changing moment of clarity.  In the span of just a couple minutes, and after a chance encounter with my neighbor, I would go back in the house with a significant change of heart.

My neighbor, we’ll call him Jake, is gay.  He moved in with his fiancée, we’ll call him Marcus, into the house next to ours several months ago.  Before we would officially meet, I found out that my new neighbor Jake was someone I knew from my childhood.  Our fathers worked together for an insurance company and played on the company volleyball team every year.  My wife and I would occasionally see Jake and Marcus coming or going from the house and would politely exchange cordial greetings.  I didn’t go out of my way to welcome them to the neighborhood, not because they were gay, but because I rather enjoy keeping to myself.  In fact, we still don’t know the names of more than two families on our block…and we’ve lived here for six and a half years!

On this particular night, Jake was having a cigarette before he undoubtedly was about to call it a night himself.  I said hello to him and he struck up a conversation about our newly manicured lawn as he jokingly said, “You’re making us look bad!”  My wife had organized a work day with several friends from church to help us with a few yard work projects that needed done but that I could not complete due to my severe back condition.  We exchanged further pleasantries and had a nice, albeit short, chat.

As he said goodnight and headed into the house, I thought quite out-of-the-blue, “would I treat Jake differently if I didn’t know he was gay?”

Let me be clear that, as a Christian, I believe and stand up for my belief that God created marriage to be between a man and a woman.  I have posted dozens of comments on social media about this issue that a lot of people, even well-meaning believers, don’t agree with.  But this post isn’t going to be a political one about gay rights, equality, or tolerance.  I am facing the issue of homosexuality for the first time with compassion.

Because of my upbringing in a Christian home and taught the moral standards and the biblical building of character, I like to think that I treat everyone with respect when I first meet them.  I am polite and kind to everyone I have the pleasure of spending time with, because that’s how I would want people to treat me.

The Bible says that “the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law [Galatians 5:22-23].”  While the Bible says that sexual immorality (including homosexuality), impurity, and sensuality are works of the flesh [Galatians 5:19], I believe that I am still instructed to love those sexual immoral.

Topeka, Kansas is synonymous with the Westboro Baptist Church.  They are a cult of family members who preach their version of love with hate messages toward homosexuals and take the Bible out of context to bend to their beliefs that God will rain his vengeance upon them.  They must have missed the part of the Bible that says God will judge ALL sinners in due time.  They “preach” the Old Testament but they forget about Jesus and the impact he had in speaking real truth to sinners for the sake of their salvation.  Westboro Baptist members picket memorial services of those who served in the military because they fought and died for a country that condones homosexuality.  Where’s the love in that?

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 says “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. [2] And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. [3] If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”  I realized that up to this point I had the same disdain toward homosexuals and wanted nothing to do with befriending them or speaking truth to them.  I did not love them.

When I came back inside after my dog had done her business, I sat at my computer to watch a movie before I turned in.  Looking through my database of movies I decided to watch ‘Philadelphia,’ a movie about an exceptional gay lawyer (played by Tom Hanks) who was wrongfully fired from his job after he began showing signs of AIDS.  After contacting nine different lawyers and being turned down by each of them, he met with Denzel Washington’s character who also denied him services.  Eventually, he had a change of heart and helped the gay lawyer win his case, learning a lot about himself and his perception of the “alternate lifestyle.”

To Jesus, sin is sin.  He died on the cross for all sin.  My sins are not worse or better than the sin of homosexuality, but God still loves me.  And the same is true for those who practice same-sex relationships.  I could relate to Denzel Washington’s character in ‘Philadelphia’ to some degree; but by the end of the movie I had progressed with him as the portrayal of both men changed my perception of homosexuals and I felt great compassion for Tom Hanks’ character.

You don’t have to sacrifice your spiritual, moral, or ethical beliefs in order to love someone who believes differently than you.  It is possible to speak truth to them in love, just as the Bible instructs us to do.  This night of revelation was a huge turning point for me, and I hope that you will take a minute to recognize what preconceived notions you have against people different than you before you start casting stones.

Bless and be blessed, my friends.